Here are some animals I want

Look. I’m an introvert with social anxiety. I thought I could contentedly stay home forever. But who know what’s at home? Myself and my brain. And you know what I’m sick of? Myself and my brain. And you know what makes my generalized anxiety and my depression worse? A PANDEMIC and endless time with my brain. So basically I’m starting to want to crawl out of my skin to get away from myself. I imagine I’d look like this sloth crawling, only my skin would peel off as I go. Have I mentioned I’ve been reading a lot of horror these days?




We are doing our duty and STAYING HOME and away from humans (except for me going into a mostly empty school to work and occasionally to a grocery store). I love my quarantine buddies, both human and canine, but I need some other interaction. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t mean people (unlike Ariel, even during non-pandemic times, I want to be where the people aren’t). I mean I need more animals.


As an ardent list-maker, I have been keeping a list of animals I want. What else is there to do? Every inch of my house is clean, my TBR pile is dwindling, I can’t get new books from the public library because I am busy NOT SUPPORTING CURBSIDE PICKUP because I like library workers to be safe. Good lord, I’ve even been driven to doing yard work. YARD WORK!


Here are my current animals, The Good Boy Squad (or, when I’m trying to get a good eye-roll out of my teenager, The Good Boi Clique):



Here are the animals I want:

This dachshund is a BOGO dog; it had to be adopted with the next doxie pictured.


Oh, you and your adorable baby dog need a home? BRB, gotta go sob over you.


Hi, your ears are tiny and amazing. Please come be my dog.



The two-legged kitten from this article. I need to hug it. I NEED TO.



This good boy just wants to be included. You can come to my house and do anything you want. 


I could sneak this long-eared hedgehog with me wherever I go, right?



I want to pet this blonde penguin.




Despair has found me eating bread in the dark at night and watching Bob Ross, the original ASMR guy. Throw in the fact that he often rescued and rehabilitated animals and I’m all set. 


Some other animals I have wanted include every deer that passes through our yard; all of the kittens I saw one day in a picture of kittens in a pot; various cart-dogs (aka dachshunds who need a cart to get around because their legs no longer work) that I like to look up and make myself cry over; a new goat every 3 weeks (this one involved some math about lawn-mowing costs and feeding etc); and also I would like basically every dog I pass when I drive to and from work, especially a dachshund I saw the other day that looked to be half cocker spaniel.



And finally, yes, hello, I WOULD like 48 goats in jammies.